Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
