i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
