so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
