i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
