So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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