he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
