I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
