this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
