When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
