Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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