last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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