I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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