Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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