Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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