my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
