She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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