i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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