perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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