I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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