My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
