What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
