Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize