Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
