i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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