you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
