you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize