Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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