let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
