I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
