I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
