it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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