I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I will be naked everywhere
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
