lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
