Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
