No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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