the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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