Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
