She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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