Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed