the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me