Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.

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(214): View more from Texas

She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS

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(206): View more from Washington

I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!

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