do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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