are you still at the devil's house?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?