So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?