There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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