I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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