Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Houston, we have a blender
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize