I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I need water and some morals
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
