Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
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I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
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