This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
