I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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