They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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