god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
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She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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