she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
