i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
