Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
