Cold hands, warm shart.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
