I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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