This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
