Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
