So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
