My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
