DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
