She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
