Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
