Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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