Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
